Bahumbug.
I have a couple of pet peeves in my life - food jars that won't open, my hubster trying to swing a leg after I've closed my eyes for longer than two minutes, and people that don't smile back when I flash them my pearly whites.
Yup.
Let's just agree that I should just phone 1800-I-have-freaking-issues. But seriously, I'm okay with these peculiar bones (not aimed at you, husband) of contention that I have.
With the jar issue, it just makes me feel foolish because a) I have to run it under hot water or b) shrink in size from my nearly 6-foot height and ask my husband ("oh, you're so big, you're so strong") to give me a hand, only to watch his smug left eyebrow raise when he opens it with two fingers.
Again, yup.
The first two are clearly issues that affect everyone, right? The thing that really annoys me the most, though, is definitely when people don't smile back at me. COME ON, PEOPLE, WHAT THE ACTUAL FCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Is life really that bad that you see someone smile at you and you think 'nope, feck them, I'm going to give them a deadpan expression in return, ‘cause you know, fck them!’
What the?
I'd just like to throw it out there that if you're breathing, you actually have a reason to smile. It frustrates me that people can't be bothered to smile back or even acknowledge my presence. Maybe I just look like I'm lost in my own little world, saying impolite things like "Morning!" or even the famously dismissive "HEY!" with a smile on my face.
I get it, I'm clearly a smiley dope begging to be dismissed by strangers. However, I know there have been times when I've been feeling crapola and someone has smiled at me, instantly lifting my mood. Honestly, a flash of teeth from someone can give you a little bit of hope.
So give people a smile and return it when you're beaten to the act. From my perspective, it just feels extremely rude when someone looks you in the eye and doesn't reciprocate. I'm not saying you have to go all out with a flashy Colgate airbrushed toothpaste commercial smile, but at the very least, do a small head nod to acknowledge someone sending you good vibes.
I think it's become more of a bugbear of mine since becoming a parent. I'm always reminding my kids to "look someone in the eye when they're talking to you" or "use your manners," etc… Sometimes I think there's a whole bunch of adults out there who need a parent following them around, giving them a ‘use your manners!’ prod every time they're rude.
I just want my kids to grow up in a world where people actually acknowledge one another. You know, a place where people look up from their phones, make eye contact, say 'hello' or just nod to acknowledge your presence. I know i sound preachy af, but I believe that if more people had more kindness in their lives, there would be a lot more kindness spread around.
I know I should toughen up and get over my childish need for people to be pleasant. But I won't, no Sirree Bob, not a chance. I'll continue walking around like a dimwit, smiling and saying hello to people who catch my eye.
So if you're someone who rarely smiles, throw a couple out there into the world and see if you start to feel a bit happier. You might even feel less alone in this phone frenzied, head down, shoulders slumped in resignation world we’re in
Just know this, you unfriendly fckg weirdos, when you fail to do the simple act of giving a nod or even a slight smile - just a small one - I mentally give you a little forehead nudge. #notthatlittle
And before you say, "Oh yeah, but you never know what's happening in people's lives, Fi, don't be a judgy beeotch," maybe, just maybe, returning a smile with a nod could actually make their day a little bit brighter as well.
Ranty rant pants signing off,
Fi xx