Being a parent is really fckn hard.
Can you feel me?
I'm not one of those mums that bothers presenting to the world that everything is perfect. To be honest, I couldn't be arsed, and I don't think anyone would believe me anyway. #yeahnotyoufi
My house always has that incredibly well-lived-in look that naturally happens with 5 people. You will ALWAYS hear the steady whine of the washing machine. If you listen carefully enough, you'll hear me mumble, "Oh for fcks sake," repeatedly and I either look like a well-fed homeless person or a spunky middle-aged bint. #theresnoinbetween
And you know what? I'm perfectly ok about being just OK at times. I'd love to have my shizen together all the time, but honestly, it's never going to happen.
Don't get me wrong, there are indeed times that I nail this whole parenting business. On those days, it's almost as if twelve little rainbow-colored unicorns have flown into my house and are sprinkling perfect magic dust around. All five of us are happy and well-behaved, doing the perfect family dance, and then...
Nek minute... #wtfhappened
I do agree with the masses that say 'parenting is the most rewarding' and 'best job you'll ever do' blah blah blah...
but isn't it also OK to admit it's just balls out hard as well?
Isn't it OK to admit that sometimes I look at my kids and think "you lot are just bloody killing me!” It doesn't mean that I don't love them with a ferocious heart, it just means that at times it's OK to just feel like you're doing OK.
The thing I love about my circle of friends is the honesty we share. It's completely OK to ring each other and say "well, I screwed up today," "my hubby is a wanker," "wtf am I doing wrong?" "let's get drunk and whinge about everything," and even my personal fave, "am I the a-hole?". These conversations are not judged at all as we know that it's mostly just about venting.
And having a laugh.
To be honest, if I didn't have that outlet, I think I'd be a completely different mum - and not one I'd be proud of. After all, the steam I generate needs to rise and escape otherwise I'd eventually explode.
I'm clearly no parenting expert, but it just makes sense to me to talk about it. In a normal job (where you're actually paid for work!) you have avenues where you can talk about the woes and joys of your job. Having a problem with a co-worker? Talk to your Manager or HR dept. Want to get a pay increase? There's avenues to be heard.
In parenting, there is no upline management, no pay disputes, your co-workers can act like little shits with no loss of income, there's no HR, no compo for Lego-related injuries, no time off in lieu, or a free call 1800-MYKIDSAREPISSINGMEOFF phone number you can ring when it all gets too much.
Do yourself a favor...ring your close friends and - if you're not already - be completely honest about how you're doing. Tell them when you're doing fabulously well and tell them when you're not. I'm pretty sure you'll find we're all going through the same shit...it's just the depth that varies.
Because parenting is really, really, really fckng hard.
AND absolutely freaking wonderful
Fi xx