Norman’s Diary

Dear Diary,

My hooman family took me to Dogs in the Park in the Gong today and can i just say, it was freaking awesome.

We arrived and watched some dogs doing tricks and mum, the silly bitch was impressed ”look at how well trained THEY are Normie!” and mehhhh, it’s a no from me. To cement my point of not obeying her now, or at anytime in the future, i pissed on the fence and looked around to see if could find a butt worth sniffing.

Bingo.

A dog in a freaking tutu walked by so i sniffed her butt and muttered “nice frock tinsel tits”

We stopped at a few stalls and sampled the heck out of the treats and mum stopped to talk to her friend at Coastal Pet Treats Man, I ate my way through their samples and nuzzled mum so she bought a few bags of their goodness. Hahahahhah she falls for my cuteness every time. #whoistrainedwellnowmum
#oneborneveryminute

We heard about the face painting and i thought “geez mum, the girls are a bit old dont ya think?” And she laughed and ruffled my hair….

The joke was on me.

The face painting was FOR ME

The girls chose pink, blue and green and truth be told, i looked pretty farking cool. I pranced around until that bitch in the tutu went by and yelled “nice colours dickhead!” #tinseltitsgotme

I sniffed some more butts, made fun of a muzzled greyhound who couldn't take my “how you doin’ Hannibal Lector?” joke and attempted to cock my leg on a woman for shits and giggles as she cooed all over the tutu mutt. #mumwasmortified.

I got a new harness and lead from BillieG before heading home content, bladder empty and cute af

Great day to be out in the sun pissing on the world.

Catch ya soon

Normie xxx
#bigdayout
#theworldismytoilet